The Best He (She) Can Be

The Best He (She) Can Be

Every child, they say, has a sleeping giant within him or her that needs to be aroused through the creative tactics of diligent parents. What this means is that every child can be nurtured to attain the heights of excellence in every area of life. Every child can be trained to stay morally upright amidst widespread decadence and delinquencies. Every child can be trained to succeed where other children are failing. It's all in our hands as Christian parents.  Both the Bible and contemporary history are filled with examples of children nurtured in the fear of the Lord by dutiful parents and who eventually became the best they could be. Examples (in the Bible) are Samuel, Timothy, and so on. The bulk of the responsibility actually falls on our shoulders as parents - both fathers and mothers. God depends on us as individual parents to help rescue the present generation from imminent ruin. We must use our honoured positions to the benefit of our children and to the glory of God to whom we will all give account.

Result-Oriented Strategies:  How then do we nurture our children and achieve the great and enviable results we desire in them? It is by teaching them through precepts and practice. Character, integrity, humility, thankful-ness and other godly characters are to be taught as from birth through our lives and lips. We must help the children imbibe these virtues and many more, especially while they are still impressionable and within our reach.  From their tender years, be careful to start teaching them rules for living appreciated by God and the society. Teach them discipline, respect and courtesy. Let them know the five golden expressions in inter-personal relationships which include: "please" - which signifies courtesy and permission; "excuse me" - which shows courtesy, apology, seeking permission, drawing attention of someone without being harsh; "I'm sorry" - which shows remorse and repentance; "thank you" - which indicates appreciation and gratitude; and "pardon me" - which shows consideration for others and civility.  Children's hearts are naturally full of curiosity and must be surrounded by edifying words. You as a parent must live out what you teach or else you will destroy what you are trying to build in them. There must be no deception or vain promises. Regularly use and practice biblical principles to show acceptable behaviour.  The children should also be taught how to pray and trust God for favourable answers. Above all, make conscious efforts to lead them to Christ. Suggested ways of rousing the giant of victorious living in our children are thus:
1.  Model Good Character In The Home.  As William Bennett observed in The Book of Virtues, "there is nothing more influential, more determinant in a child's life than the moral power of a quiet example". It is critically important that those who are attempting to influence children's character in positive ways "walk the talk".
2.  Be Clear About Your Values.  Tell the children where you stand on important issues. Good character is both taught and caught. If we want these children to internalise the virtues that we value, we need to teach them what we believe and why. In the daily living of our lives, there are countless opportunities to engage children in moral conversation.
3.  Show Respect For Your Spouse, Your Children And Other Family Members.  Parents who honour each other, who share family responsibilities, and who resolve their differences in peaceful ways communicate a powerful message about respect. If children experience respect first-hand within the family, they are more likely to be respectful of others. Simply stated, respect begets respect.
4.  Model And Teach Your Children Good Manners.  Insist that all family members use good manners in the home. Good manners are really the Golden Rule in action. Whether the issue is courtesy or other simple social graces, it is in the home that the true thoughtfulness for others has its roots.
5.  Read To Your Children And Keep Good Literature In The Home.  Great teachers have always used stories to teach, motivate and inspire; and reading together is an important part of passing the moral legacy of our culture from one generation to another. Children's questions and comments about the stories offer parents important insights into their children's thoughts, beliefs and concerns.
6.  Limit Your Children's Spending Money.  Help them develop an appreciation for non-material rewards.  In today's consumerist culture, youth could easily come to believe that image - wearing the "right" clothes, driving the "right" car, and so on - represents the path to success and happiness. Parents can make strong statements about what they value by the ways in which they allocate their own resources and how they allow their wards to spend the funds entrusted to them.
7.  Capitalize On The "Teachable Moment".  Use situations to spark family discussions on important issues. Some of the most effective character education can occur in the on-going everyday life of the family. As parents and children interact with one another and with other outside the home, there are countless situations that can be used to teach valuable lessons about responsibility, empathy, kindness and compassion.
8.  Assign Home Responsibilities To All Family Members.  Even though it is often easier to clear the table, take out the trash, or load the dishwasher ourselves than to wait for a child to do it, we have an obligation to help children learn to balance their own needs and wishes against those of other family members - and ultimately, other members of society.
9.  Set Clear Expectations For Your Children And Hold Them Accountable For Their Actions. Defining reasonable limits and enforcing them appropriately establishes the parents as the moral leaders in the home and provides a sense of security to children and youth. It also lets them know that you care enough about them to want them to be - or to become - people of good character.
10.  Keep Your Children Busy In Positive Activities.  Children and youth have remarkable energy levels and the challenge is to channel that energy into positive activities such as hobbies, music or other forms of the arts, or church or edifying youth groups. Such activities promote altruism, caring and cooperation; it also gives children a sense of accomplishment.
11.  Learn To Say No And Mean It.  It is natural for children - especially teenagers - to test the limits and challenge their parents' authority. Despite the child's protests, a parent's most loving act is often to stand firm and prohibit the child's participating in a potentially hurtful activity.
12.  Know Where Your Children Are, What They Are Doing, And With Whom.  Adults need to communicate in countless ways that we care about children and that we expect the best from them, but also that we take seriously our responsibility to establish standards and to monitor, chaperone, and supervise. At the risk of being perceived as "old fashioned," insist on meeting your children's friends and their parents.
13.  Refuse To Cover Up For Your Children Or Make Excuses For Their Inappropriate Behaviour.  Shielding children and youth from logical consequences of their actions fails to teach them personal responsibility. It also undermines social customs and laws by giving them the impression that they are somehow exempt from regulations that govern others' behaviour.
14.  Know What Television Shows, Videos And Movies Your Children Are Watching.  While there are some very fine materials available, a proliferation of pornographic and hate-filled information is easily accessible to our youth. By word and example, teach your children responsible viewing habits. If you learn that your child has viewed something objectionable, candidly share your feeling and discuss why the material offends your family's values.
15.  Remember That You Are The Adult!  Children don't need another playmate, but they desperately need a parent who cares enough to set and enforce appropriate limits for their behaviour. Sometimes, being able to say, "My dad won't let me" provides a convenient escape for a youth who really didn't want to participate in a questionable activity.

Once again, to help your children become the best they can be, you must be the best you ought to be yourself. You must be the best you can be for God as you give Him the best He deserves from you; for humanity in the way you relate with others and impact positively on your immediate environment and for your children by being their favoured role model. (Extract from Christian Women Mirror - September 2012 Edition).