A Covenant, Not A Contract

A Covenant, Not A Contract

Marriage is the most sacred human union ordained by God as He personally solemnised the first marriage at creation. God gave Adam the gift of a woman, Eve. This He did in love so that their togetherness would bring completeness of life and fulfillment of destiny.

Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. There is a big difference.  God made a blood covenant with Abraham in Genesis 15 by cutting five animals in two and laying their carcasses on both sides of a path, with God "walking through" these body parts.  This represents the absolutely binding nature of a covenant, for it says that "If I ever violate this covenant, may I be torn in two just like these animals".  Have you thought of your marriage covenant in that way?  Don't ever give up on your marriage, no matter what comes your way. When friction festers into fights, new "oil" is needed to re-lubricate the relationship. When romance disappears into a dull fog of mundane sameness, fresh oxygen is needed to fan the cooling embers into sparks that will rekindle the glowing flames of love. When chronic financial distress threatens the emotional equilibrium of the home; or when dysfunctions and compulsions surface like white caps in the bay to rock the family boat; or when in-law interference, tangled expectations, health crises or other predictable issues persist as huge problems that won't go away, biblical words of help and encouragement are needed to revive the marriage out of the emergency room and carry it gently into rehabilitative therapy. Whether it's the hot flare-ups of polarization or the long dry dredges of boredom and disillusionment, decide now that you will fight what infects the intimacy of your marriage relationship. Keep you vows.

Love makes marriage very beautiful, admirable and desirable. It gives you a foretaste of heaven, while a loveless marriage gives a perfect depiction of hell on earth. In fact, a loveless marriage is a lifeless marriage.  Now, the kind of love that can nourish and sustain your marriage is one that is patient and kind. No other person can use the virtue you possess in patience more than your spouse. Also, this kind of love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not selfish, does not wear its emotion on its skin, it keeps no records of wrongs and it is believing. When you love your spouse, you will always seek to protect, believe in and trust your spouse.  Moreover, love will prompt you to give yourself, strength, time, money and all you've got to your spouse's well-being.  It will strengthen your willingness to sacrifice for your marriage. The wife will not compete but complement her husband if there is true love neither will the husband try to run his wife down in order to prove his manliness. Love never fails. Failure in marriage comes when you fail to love. When love is lacking, mistakes and flaws of your spouse become more pronounced and you start to see problems that were never there.  Beside, true love is unconditional. One seeming hard truth is that your love for your spouse should have nothing to do with how you feel at a particular moment: so whether you are happy or not, there is a misunderstanding or not, you are hungry or satisfied, you are jobless or very busy, you must love your spouse. Love is a command given by God and a decision that demands unconditional commitment.  There are various ways you can demonstrate this love to your spouse. (i) Articulate It - Tell your spouse how much you love him or her. Learn to say the word " I love you" as often as possible, and mean it. (ii) Show It - Action, they say, speaks louder than words. Therefore, show your spouse your love through your actions (give gifts - not necessarily something big or exotic - show interest in his or her profession even if you know next to nothing about it. (iii) Pray - Learn to pray for and with your spouse as often as possible. A family that prays together not only stays together but also sticks together through thick and thin.

Culture (no matter how civilised) or the misinterpretation of the Bible by some church leaders cannot override God's standard. Once married, you married forever (no divorce). No room for adultery, polygamy or dealing treacherously with your spouse. You must deal in love, understanding, submission and respect one for another. Of course, there are some complicated marital situations that may require external help.  Where this is the case, taking counsel from sincere godly counselors who fear God and are ready to stand for the truth will help to wisely handle such situations. Your marriage should reveal to the world the unfathomable love of Christ for His Bride (the Church). You can be a walking and talking definition of love. All you have to do is allow Christ and His world to reign in your heart, life and home. I can assure you of a blissful marriage without regrets once you give God His rightful place in your home. I pray for you that your marriage will be a cistern of blessing, not a cesspit of regrets. This is what God intends marriage to be.  a perpetual fountain of peace and joy forevermore. And so shall it be for you. Never give up. God will reward your faithfulness (Romans 13:10; John 13:34; Proverbs 16:24; 18:4; I John 4:11; Malachi 2:14; Ephesians 5:22-28; I Corinthians 13:4-7).

"God does not frown at you when your marriage is imperfect; He only does that when you refuse to seek His help in making your marriage perfect."

"We need to blow the dust off God's original blueprint for marriage and the home. Our great need is to hear what God says to His people about His design and seek His counsel first and foremost."

"God can restore any marriage no matter how battered or broken. Stop talking to people and get on your knees with God." (Extract from Christian Women Mirror - November 2012 Edition).